I Saw the Sign

I got a thumbs-up today. It was surprising, and not just because I earned the aforementioned thumbs-up while driving, despite the fact that I’m notoriously a bad driver. It was surprising because it made me smile and reminded me how people are capable of such silly, small, random acts that may be just what another person is looking for.

I’m not even quite sure what I did to get the one- digit sign of approval. I think I let the dude cut in front of me since our shared exit was approaching, but frankly that was more a result of my less-than-aggressive driving than my kindness and concern for others on the road. And who knows, this dude might have just been rocking out and in a good mood and overly expressive in his thanks of a smile and the thumbs up in the rear-view mirror.

But for me, his thumbs up was a joyful sign that the world was in agreement with the decision I made while driving. I decided to start writing. I know, I know - lame. But, to explain, I started grad school over a month ago, and the hope I had in a new beginning has diminished to the reality of the limits of satisfaction one can get from something that is not pure and passionate and creative. So I’m back to my old way of being - sleeping too much, doing too little, getting by on as little effort as possible. I’m certain that I’m suffering from “the terminal intellectual fatigue caused by disillusionment”, as was eloquently described by poet W. S. Di Piero. While I’m not certain of the cure for such an ailment, I do know that the thing that I’m most afraid of doing, and, more importantly, not doing, is writing.

So thanks to the thumbs-up dude in the black car. I’ll take that as a sign.